By Coach Ron Wolforth –
Both of our children, Samantha and Garrett, participated in several hyper-competitive activities in their youth. Samantha was heavily involved in competitive dance, cheer, volleyball, and softball. Garrett was involved in football, basketball, track, and, of course, baseball (from a very young age and all the way up to professional baseball currently).
Like many of you, on our journey in a competitive American culture, our family has come across many wonderful, gifted, and affirming people – several who have become lifetime friends. And of course, at the same time, we have also stumbled upon some of the worst people that American culture has to offer.
We’ve experienced deception, deceit, manipulation, intimidation, duplicity, bullying, fraud, and other despicable behavior.
Like a vast majority of you reading this, Jill and I have seen firsthand the very best and the very worst of people, sandwiched closely together, involved in processes that were forwarded as “all about the child/ athlete”. What a sad irony.
Early on, Jill and I developed a very simple rule that we strongly recommend for other parents:
We would never involve ourselves in the decision making of the leaders of our children’s teams in an effort to avoid swaying or influencing their decision-making process. Even, and especially, if we disagreed with the conclusions of those leaders. We would simply teach our children to ride out the storm, and when the season came to an end… we would then, at that point, choose another team or leadership.
That included baseball and softball decisions in which Jill and I were almost always considerably more competent, experienced, and adept than the leaders of our children at that time. We simply smiled and bit our tongues. Other parents were almost never aware of any of our disagreements, or the level (if any) of our dissatisfaction.
We realized that the process was going to always be uneven and imperfect, and we wanted to send the message to our children that 1) Mom and Dad aren’t going to try and save you from every injustice and incompetence and 2) We believed they were strong and more than capable of dealing with the inevitable slings and errors of those situations.
It is important to state here that if we felt the leadership was physically or emotionally abusive, all bets would have been off, and we would have intervened immediately. Thankfully though, that never occurred.
I have stated many times before that favoritism, partiality, and prejudice is a universal human flaw. It has existed since the beginning of time and will stay until the human race is no more.
When that favoritism works for us… we refer to it as “influence”, “greasing the skids”, “knowing somebody”, “fondness”, or “proclivity”.
When that favoritism works against us… we refer to it as “politics”, “bias”, “favoritism”, or “BS”!
Here is my message for this week’s blog:
Far too many parents and their children accept, and in fact seek out and occupy, the role as a victim when they experience the negative sides of competitive sports. They immediately look for people to blame for their dissatisfaction and disillusionment.
The truth is, if you are involved in competitive sports for long enough, everyone… every single one of us… will experience the undesirable, and sometimes dishonorable, fringe of competitive athletics.
The question is, when you do experience the negative side… do you become a victim, a casualty, emotionally injured, bereaved, and/or harmed?
Or do you respond with courage, strength, fortitude, composure, and self-assuredness?
You see, one of the most difficult of all of the lessons of our youth to comprehend is this:
Someone acting poorly towards you, treating you unfairly… says something far more profound about them than it does about you.
I urge you to refuse to become a victim. Do not ever let them take your personal power away. In a vast majority of cases, you can still carry yourself with honor and self-respect, regardless of the resistance, disapproval, and even hostility of your current leadership.
I also encourage you to refuse to let others steal your joy, tear down your self-worth, or do great damage to your self-image. Those who do that, either intentionally or unintentionally, are neither worth your time nor energy. Those who behave in such a manner are nearly always small-minded, manipulative, and narcissistic individuals who feel superior primarily by making others feel inferior. Do not accept their premise or their game, and when it is possible to get away from such people… do so.
Until then… I urge you to heed the words of the great stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius:
Choose not to be harmed – and you won’t feel harmed.
Don’t feel harmed – and you haven’t been.
Until next time,
Stay Curious and Keep Fighting the Good Fight!
RW
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Important TBR Updates
- Information and dates for our 2022 3-Day Elite Pitchers Bootcamps can be found on our website. Call the office or fill out the online registration form(s) to reserve your spot! https://www.texasbaseballranch.com/elite-pitchers-bootcamp/
- We’ve just released the information on our Extended Stay Summer Program. Ranch athletes receive messages like the one above at the start of every training day. If you’d like more information, go to https://www.texasbaseballranch.com/events/tbr-summer-program/ There’s a $500 Early Bird Savings through March 31st. Space is limited each week so don’t delay.
