Don’t Take Anything Personally

By Samantha Parrish-


As parents we are on high alert for people that could be a negative influence on our children.  We encourage them to not take things personally when others say or do mean things to them, and rightfully so.  In the age of social media, I wanted to give another perspective on Agreement #2 (Don’t Take Anything Personally) from The Four Agreements


We have to protect our kids (and ourselves) from constantly seeking the praise of others.


So often we measure the value of our thoughts or looks in ‘likes’ or ‘retweets’.  Today’s youth are putting things out into cyber space just for the positive attention it brings.  Unfortunately that’s not how the real world works- in fact, it’s often the opposite.  If I am not hearing from my boss it usually means I’m in a good spot.  Coaches especially are not known for their warm and fuzzy compliments.  We have to train ourselves, and our athlete’s, to be self-motivators.  Our performances cannot be measured by the compliments of others.


Let’s look at an example from point two above- what others say and do is projection of their own reality, their own dream.  Have you ever noticed that you are drawn to appreciate when someone does something well that you struggle with?  Let’s say a guy on your team has an amazing curveball- and you don’t- you tend to really notice, even envy his curveball.  After the game you tell him how great his curve looked today.  Now this guy may have no problem throwing this pitch, in fact his specific goal for the game was to throw his fastball inside for a strike. He can take your compliment and be happy with the day even if his fastball wasn’t great.  Your compliment was well intended, but our attention was drawn to his curveball because of our own dream to throw a good one.  He can’t allow that to distract him from his work.


So how do we become self motivators and not allow ourselves to be pulled off track by compliments.  I don’t want to over simplify… but it is simple: have a specific, measurable goal.  If you have an intent of working the inside fastball for a strike and you throw an outside fastball for strike 3- sure everyone is happy and your K number goes up- but was that your focus?   I often remind myself when dealing with my girls “effort over outcome”.  People on the outside tend to praise the outcome- of course they do- they don’t know your intent.  Enjoy those compliments but don’t let them get in your head and distract you from your greater goal.  When you set a specific, measurable goal you are able to see, with less emotion, if you are improving or not.  In fact, at our Summer Program every player gets a journal on their first day because we want them to write everything down- that way we can focus their development where it is most needed.


Coach Wolforth says: “You are never as good as your press clippings after a great game and never as bad as they say when you struggle.” At the end of the day we all like to hear that we did a great job- but we can’t allow the praise of others to set our internal standards.


– – – – – – – – – – –


We are very proud of the training environment and culture we have created at The Texas Baseball Ranch®.  We believe our job is to help them become their own best pitching coach.   

We’d love to have you join us this summer and experience it for yourself.
Come for 3 days or stay for several weeks…

Our 2018 Summer Elite Pitchers’ Boot Camp dates have been set.
Learn more about these exciting, information packed 3-Day events at


 If you’d like to spend more time with us this summer, check out our Extended Stay Summer Intensive Program.



Previous post:

Next post: